May 17 LIfe and Death on the farm

Today started off okay. Had a long conversation with Patsy on the phone early. Barb is off this weekend training one of her dogs. I took Tyler with me to the dump. I stopped at Doc's and weighed him. He has lost 6lbs in the past couple years. He has old man's skinny butt, too. He will be 11 in a couple weeks. Tilly, his sister, is fine. Go figure. Ty is a funny dog. I went to the grocery after that I went to TSC. While I was in TSC he enthroned himself on my herding box, a large plastic storage box, next to the groceries. I guess he was guarding them. There was meat in there! He didn't bother the bags. He just laid next to them.

In the afternoon I went to see Mom in the nursing home. We had a good visit. She looked pretty in a read sweater and khaki capris. Red is a good color for her. The young Marines came in and gave her a gift and a certificate for being a veteran in honor of Armed Forces Day. Tilly came along for the ride. She pushed open the door of Mom's room and ran up and down the hall before I could catch her. Everyone got a kick out of that. I know the residents love to see pets there. It is such a boring life. I wish we didn't have to warehouse our old people, but in these times we have little choice.

Went to Cox's and picked up some low acid tomatoes for Mom, parsley, lavender, basil and rosemary. I don't use a lot of herbs, but when you need them you need them. I love lavender. I have never had much luck with it. I am going to plant it on the west side of the house. It is drier there and I think it will be happy. Guess I am not going to have flowers this year. Money is very tight. Oh well, next year will be better and I will go nuts with flowers.

At home we relaxed for a while. I dozed a little. I heard the dogs barking and thought I heard a voice. I got up and looked outside and saw nothing. I went to the back door and saw a deer leap over the back fence. That must have been it, but no. I then heard bleating. I went out the front door and here comes Toby carrying a struggling fawn across the sideyard toward me. I told him to drop it and he did. I brought him in. I called Joe, my neighbor, and he said to leave alone and the mother will come back. She hasn't. The fawn has since died. I don't think Toby killed the fawn. It was probably injured. Toby hasn't messed with it since. I am leaving it until the morning in case the mother comes back. I want her to know her baby is dead. I went out and looked at it closely. There are few things more beautiful. It is perfect. The feet are so tiny. The legs so thin. I can't believe how small it is. It makes me sad to see it.

So such is life on the farm. One of the ducks is setting on a clutch of eggs. If they don't hatch out by the 30th I will dispose of them. The cycle is 27 days and I am giving her plenty of time. All I have to do is figure out how to get them away from her. The rooster is still very fresh in my mind.

A man I used to work with committed suicide on the 3rd. I just heard about it this week. I don't understand suicide. I have though about seriously when I was depressed. Since I couldn't think of anyone who would take my dog, Jessica, I didn't do it. Jess saved my life. How can anyone kill themself. I just don't understand. Dead is forever. This man killed himself on his daughter's prom night. Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness. I don't have any sympathy for someone who does it. I have been chastised for that opinion, but I don't care. I am pretty flexible on many things, but not that. I have heard that this man had a drinking problem. Okay, he was an alcoholic and had lost a couple jobs because of it. Still there is help for depression and alcoholism. Get help.

Well, it WAS a beautiful day. We need it. Mowing tomorrow and moving the hay ring and the lumber to make a bridge over the ditch. Maybe, I'll work the sheep with Fly. I'll plant the plants and plant my free trees. Hope the sheep don't eat the trees.