It has been almost 2 weeks and there is still an emptiness in the house. Something is missing. The vitality is missing. Tyler was not an energetic dog. He was not given to running and bouncing and wrestling. His was a quiet presence. Sure, he would mix it up with Fly once in a while just to show the kid who was boss still. Fly never learned and had to push. Gosh, I miss my boy.

"Thus we begin our day in song. Sacred songs calling spirits. Those who weave dreams are Holy. Tomorrow we weep but today I'll spend with my old dog -- hand to paw as we walk together; speaking in low, sweet tones. I will continue to write about him to let the world know that he was here; more, he made a difference!"

A great corgi is gone

Amazing Pocket Tippecanoe, Tyler, has gone to the Bridge. He left last night or early this morning. As was his way he did it quietly not wanting to disturb his Mom. I will miss him so much. With each minute I am missing him more. He was a teddy bear of a corgi. He had a big thick coat that you could get lost in. Unlike a lot of dogs he didn't mind being held or hugged. Our favorite nap position was Tyler cradled in my arms like a baby. We loved the recliner. On 9/11 all I wanted to do was get home and hold Tyler in my arms. I knew life would go on once he was in my arms.

Tyler had a great many nicknames. My favorite was Bubbie. He was also Mr. Man, My Little Tidy Bowl Man, Snuggle Bug, and a few other silly names.

He really asked nothing of me other than love and food.

Having been upset all day I engaged in one of my odd behaviors when I am really really upset. I cleaned the window screens. As I was in the living room getting the screens I turned on XM to the 50's station. After I did that I thought I hope they don't play "In the Still of the Night". That was one of my late husband's favorites. Darned if it didn't come on immediately. I completely broke down. I do know now though that Ty is at the Bridge with Al.

I am going to really miss Ty's bright expression so full of love and expectation. Ty had the biggest ears of any corgi I ever saw. It took months for them to come up when he was a puppy. Even in death they were still every upright. I will miss rubbing those big ole ears.

Bubbie, I miss you so much. I knew this day would come, but so soon? Twelve years is not enough.

Wait for me at the Bridge, big boy.

Just Thoughts

I learned yesterday that Bob Vest had passed away. This was so profound for me and many others. He was our guru. He didn't just instruct us in herding. We got life lessons, too.

After my husband died I had a hard view at death. I made jokes about it and laughed at it. I don't know what has caused me to change my view. There have been several deaths since then that had touched me. There was Reba, Fly's grandmother. Sure she was JUST a dog, but she had so much personality and I never even met her. There was Jim's mother's death, six months ago. There have been others too numerous to mention. I feel hollow after these deaths and just don't know what to feel or how to feel. Maybe, it is grief. It is an intangible feeling something I can't quite put my finger on.

One of my goals was to take Fly to a Bob Vest Clinic and show him that we can do it. My one and only time to participate in his clinic was a disaster. It was 3 days of me being stupid. I knew what he was trying to tell me and I couldn't accomplish it. I was in Fly's way and I was in my own way. I am better than that. I was embarassed and depressed. I let a ewe get Fly. I saw it coming and I let it happen. I didn't protect my dog. I cried all the way home that night. We tried working ducks and I kept getting in the way. I hope Bob is looking down from the great trial field and seeing that we CAN do it.

Lastly, thanks Bob for the hint about the piece of rigid insulation. It is the best thing. I am naming my piece the Bob Vest Memorial Foot Warmer.

Thoughts

I am so tired of hearing people say they can't do this or that because the economy is bad. Do they know what a bad economy is? These are people who have jobs. Maybe if they hadn't gotten themselves into deep debt in the first place "their economy" wouldn't be so bad.

Nuff said for now.

The dogs are fine. We have really gotten lazy. There has been a lot of rain and we just lay around the house on those days and the day after. The sheep got sheared on Tuesday. They are nekkid. Now I only have 1 reason not to work them. My pen is short of fence on one side.

I have discovered the meaning of fixed income. May 1 marked my first pension check. Darned if I haven't had to have a plumber out twice. YIKES! Of course, this happened after I sent off an entry for a trial. Now, I have to go to the trial. Fortunately, it is only 90 miles one way. So, no motels and food, but there is the gas thing.

My nephew's wife is having surgery soon, very soon. She has a cyst on her spleen. It doesn't look good. He is stationed on Iraq and is on emergency leave. Pray for her.

Started a new diet. I have gotten so fat since I've been home. I blame the rain. I am blaming everything on the rain. When it rains I just don't feel like moving around. That's my story!

I miss many of my coworkers. I haven't had a good rant and rave or even a temper tantrum since I've been home. I will probably explode soon.

I have an opportunity to get a free horse. It isn't saddle broke yet. I think I can do it if he is a calm horse. Two of my friends are all up in arms about this. I am just stubborn enough to fight them on this. I need to call the lady. I promised I would call on the 10th and I havent' yet. True, I really don't need a horse, but I miss having one out in the field.

Anyway, help the economy go out and buy something. Pay cash though!

Now Retired

Well, I am now officially retired. I have no job. I feel like I am in limbo. Maybe when the weather gets warm I will be more motivated.

I went to Virginia for a sheepherding clinic the end of March. It was great. Fly shows a lot of promise. I wish I were better. He deserves it.

Virginia was warm and wet and crowded. I ate at a really nice restaurant in Elizabeth City, NC called Montero's. The food and service were great!

It rained most of the time we were there except for Monday and Tuesday the 30th and 31st. Went to Williamsburg and Jamestown. I have to go back there is just too much to see.

I need to change the pictures on this blog. Of course,the way it looks today outside I may as well just leave the flood picture.

This retirement thing is in my mind all the time. Will I be able to afford not to work? I haven't started receiving my pension that is at least a month away. I have 1 more check coming from AT&T and then I haven't filed my taxes yet. The taxes could be a problem as I still owe quite a bit from 2007. I hope I get enough back to finally pay that off. Word to the wise don't play with your deductions.

I think I am going to go to the county public library today to see what they have as far as books on CD and see what DVDs they have. They come here to my little town once a week on Mondays so I will start going there.

I am still going herding in Attica at least until I run out of $$. I really want to have Fly in the Nationals in Sept.

Anyway, I all have to remember is not to be afraid of the future. I never have before.

That Special Spot

Have you ever really looked at your dog's head? They are very interesting. Mine all have very beautiful eyes and soft as velvet ears. My favorite spot is that small area under their nose leather and above their mouth. It is soft and seems so vulnerable.

Another spot is the area just below that fat pad with no claw above the foot. There is an indention there and I love to put my thumb there and gently massage it. The dog seems to like it and it relaxes me, too.

I stayed home from work today. The snow has just worn me out. Maybe, it is a combination of things. Nothing new on the job front. I am thinking that after the first of Feb. things will be shaking loose. I wish I could get termination pay and my pension and leave. I am 7th in senority so the Co. will probably find me a job. If not, all the better for me. It is bad for those with less senority. If I can't get a job they won't be able to find one either. I have not really taken tests. I won't take a down grade. I hope those with less time will be able to find jobs. I feel that I am in limbo right now.

Anyway, on to more cheerful things. The dogs all love the snow. The heathen twins, Tilly and Tyler, have slowed down a lot in the snow. Tilly used to roll and roll in it. Not this time. Of course, the snow IS deeper than the corgis are tall. Toby, the chow mix. just plows through. He has also slowed down in recent months. He has taken to spending more and more time in the house on the couch. Oh well, it happens to all of us sometime.

The Oncoming Train

You've that the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train? Well, it's true. I just got word that AT&T is closing my office 3/16. I hadn't planned on retiring for 2 more years. I could take retirement now. Nope, the GATT doesn't go down til the first of the year. If the GATT is down my pension goes up. I can take tests and become some sort of tech. There is a lot of math in these tests. I'm not sure I can pass them. I have a realy problem with math. Well, we'll see.

I took Fly herding today. It was fun. I needed the activity. He is quite the guy. I wish I were better for his sake. I didn't follow through on my commands. I cut him off. He works quietly with the sheep most of time. Once in awhile he tries to blow them apart. We moved the sheep around 2 small fields and stopped at a gate and opened it and brought them through then he would come through. I need to also work on having him stop at the gate and let me go first. We worked on it for a while a few months ago then quit. He is really smart. He picks up on things quickly. He worked well for Dana. I need to get more confidence, too. I think that will transfer to him.

The trip back was awful. There was snow on the interstate and the wind was out of the south and very cold. I almost got blown off the road several times. The semis were even going slow. You know it's bad out then. By time I got to Greenfield it was better. It took almost 4 hrs to get home instead of 2+.

I hopeI'll still be able to herd if I have to leave the company. Herding ain't cheap. Are there any cheap hobbies? Better yet any that make money?

Well, let's ask St. Joseph to pray for me to get a job. I think he is the patron saint of workers. I'll have to look that up.