Needs

You never out grow the need for your mother. I have thought this for a long time. When my husband passed away in Feb of 1999 who did I call first? MOM. I knew she wasn't as strong as the Mom I had come to rely on in my adulthood, but she was still my Mom and I needed her. Now my Mom has gone. Who do I call now?

This has been a horrible month. Tyler got sick then he died. Mom fell and then she passed away. The most comfort I have is that Ty and Mom are together. Ty loved Mom. Of course, Ty loved anyone who would pet him and had food.

Sometimes I think I was a horrible child. I was mean to my brothers. I resented having to babysit them. I guess that was normal. I had the normal fights with Mom, I guess.

After I went into the Air Force and then got married our relationship changed to more friends than mother and daughter. Still when I needed a Mom she was there.

I think that Moms should tell their daughters that this will happen. Moms should not try to run their adult children's lives. Mom was a good mother in law as was my husband's mother. Don't take sides and stay out of their lives. When I got married Mom said you made your bed now lay in it. Don't get me wrong she loved my husband and he was a good man and husband and son in law. She just wanted me to know this was now my life. Of all the kids I am the only one who never has come back home.

I don't have any guilty feelings which really surprises me. I don't have anything to feel guilty for, but still we all have those feelings. Maybe, after the viewing today I will. This hasn't been real yet. I saw Mom on the Tuesday afternoon before she fell and broke her leg. She fell in the early hours of Wednesday. On Monday I was to take her to the Dr. and when I got up that morning Tyler was dead. I was too upset to take her. I went to visit her on Tuesday. She was upset that Tyler had died, too. I thought that day that her eyes looked good. They had been kind of cloudy for a while. She had bright green eyes that day. On the day she passed away, my brother and I went to the hospital early in the morning to talk to the Dr. I talked to her. Of course,there was no response. Later just after noon my brother called to tell me the news. I felt nothing except maybe a little surprise. I thought she would be here a few more days. Maybe it was a coping method. Who knows?

Anyway, ladies tell your daughters that they will never outgrow the need for their mothers. Ladies, be good mothers. Mine was.